Although it was a Saturday yesterday, I had to wake up at 7:30, a bit earlier than I normally do on weekends. This was because I had to have a Zoom call with my Japanese judicial scrivener as well as my sister to discuss matters related to the probate on my late father’s real estate and financial assets. Even though my father passed away last July, this matter has dragged on until now, so I really hope to bring it to a close as soon as possible.
When probate is finally granted, we will pay the inheritance tax owed to the local authorities and put the real estate on the market. My father’s house, built 30 years ago, is very decent structure-wise, and is located in a quiet and peaceful neighborhood. The house, along with its front and backyard, covers an area of around 7,500 square feet, relatively big by local standards.
It feels a bit of a pity to sell such a nice house, but since I live thousands of miles away, I can’t maintain it properly; on top of that, I have to pay property tax every year just to keep it, so it only makes sense to sell it while it’s still in good condition.
After finishing the Zoom call, I did some household chores around my apartment. While I left my tasks to the dishwasher, washing machine, and robotic vacuum cleaner, I sat in my bathroom reading a Japanese comic book.
It was an illustrated essay of a middle-aged man who used to abuse his wife and daughter in the past. The intensity of the abuse was such that he was divorced by his wife and lost custody of his daughter. Not only that, he was also abusive toward his subordinates in his workplace. He has since repented and tries to improve his behavior, reading numerous books about physical and mental abuse for self-analysis.
In the process, he discovers that he was perpetuating a cycle of abuse, having been brought up by parents who were abusive toward him. He decides to sever this cycle definitively and mend his ways, starting with relationships with his colleagues. Thanks to his efforts, he gradually builds up a reputation as a reasonable boss with a warm personality, earning respect from his subordinates.
Unfortunately, he hasn’t been as successful at restoring the relationships with his ex-wife and daughter, owing to the level of trauma he inflicted on them in the past. His daughter hates him so much that she tears up his letter begging her forgiveness before even reading it. She throws a torrent of abuse at him on a messaging app saying she will never forgive him for what he did to her—she doesn’t want to hear from him ever again and wishes he were dead.
This leaves him heartbroken, of course, but he concludes that she can’t be blamed for exhibiting such a violent reaction—after all, it was his fault from the beginning. The only thing he can do is take a lesson from his mistake and never engage in abusive behavior again, while wishing his daughter all the happiness.
I also believe that this is what can be reasonably expected—certain damage can’t be undone, and you have to live with the consequences for the rest of your life. Everyone has done things in the past they wish they haven’t, and you have to deal with it one way or another. I definitely need to own up to my mistakes and, regardless of whether or not I can make up for them, try to be a better person going forward. I’m glad I’ve read this captivating and thought-provoking illustrated essay.
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